.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
