the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I think your dad took our porno
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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