i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
