"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
