the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
