Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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