Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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