Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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