Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
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just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
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I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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