STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
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