Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Is that strawberry winking at me??
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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