he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
