Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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