i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
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