its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
