Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
