This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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