So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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