Sry I called you an 8
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I hate all girls vehemently.
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
