you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Everything about him screamed your future.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
