in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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