your room smells of hookers.
And success
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
