so explain again why im purple
no
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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