my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?