You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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