it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!