My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.