It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
