Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
