Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
