Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
