You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
