KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
We got so high we made milksteak
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
