i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
