Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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