I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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