i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
