Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Come on in and take your pants off
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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