...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
