my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
you would pick up someone in the library
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Is Oprah even human
Randomize
