ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Hippo gnu deer
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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