Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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