Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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