don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
