So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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