Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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