Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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