I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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