Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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