He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Randomize
