I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
My vagina is officially offended.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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