omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
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