One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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