yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
