oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Sorry my hands just texted you
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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