I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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