I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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