after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
