Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
