okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
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