My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
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