I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
